Interviewer’s Note

It was a pleasure speaking with him. Throughout our conversation, his selflessness and strong character were evident. What stood out most to me was how his eyes lit up when he spoke about traveling and seeing the world. His stories reminded me how meaningful it is to live with perspective and integrity, even through life’s challenges.

Introduction

I wanted to take some time to share what has mattered most to me in my life: the experiences that shaped me, the values I tried to live by, and the kind of person I hope I’ve been.

I’m 73 years old. I grew up in a small town in Connecticut with what you might call an all-American upbringing. It had a great community, a family, and a set of expectations about how you carry yourself. These included doing the right thing, treating people with respect, and contributing where you can.

Those values were deeply instilled in me and still guide my actions every day.

My Life’s Work

I went to Boston University and earned my degree in psychology, and I knew early on I wanted to work in the mental health field. After college, I spent three years working in a state hospital in Massachusetts. That experience gave me a first-hand view of how complicated mental health care can be, and how much people need support beyond the walls of an inpatient unit.

Over time, I realized I wanted to work not only with individuals, but also on the systems around them, such as the programs that could help people live in the community with stability and dignity. That led me to Baltimore to study public health at Johns Hopkins University and to continue building a career in community mental health.

I worked with people experiencing homelessness and mental illness, helped run job training programs, led a halfway house program, and eventually spent decades at the Baltimore County Health Department. Before I retired, I was leading one of the departments.

One professional accomplishment I am especially proud of is working to create a mental health crisis intervention program that paired social workers with police officers and gave the community a 24-hour hotline. Before that, the police were often the only responders available. This approach brought a more clinical, humane response to crisis situations. The program is still operating today, and I am proud that it continues to help people.

When I Felt Most Alive

Some of the times I felt most alive came from travel. This was not because it was glamorous, but because it taught me perspective.

My brother worked as an international economic consultant, and I had the chance to visit him in different places. One trip that stayed with me was Panama. I took a train across the country to see the canal area and the interior. People warned me to avoid Colón, and told me not to leave the train station if I did end up going. I ignored that advice, walked a few blocks, and got mugged by a group of teenagers. I lost my wallet and my passport, and I didn’t even speak Spanish.

A woman helped me get to the police. They tried to track down what was taken, but what I remember most is what I observed: the poverty, the desperation, how hard life was for so many people.

That evening, I was back in Panama City eating dinner on a rooftop restaurant, surrounded by privilege and delectable meals. I could not stop thinking about the contrast between these neighboring areas and peoples. That day taught me something that never really left: how lucky I have been, and how important it is not to forget what other people live with every day.

I also traveled through Portugal and across the Mediterranean to Rome. I visited Nepal and trekked in the foothills of the Himalayas. Earlier in life, I spent time in Israel in a religious school during a summer in college. Travel broadened me. It reminded me that life is not about what you accumulate materially. Rather, it is about what you experience, what you learn, and how you treat people along the way.

What I Want to Be Remembered For

More than anything, I want to be remembered as someone of good character. I always tried to do the right thing. That mattered in my work, but it also mattered in my personal life. Sometimes being a good person requires sacrifice. Both my brother and my mother have passed away, and I was one of the primary support people for them at the end of their lives. My mother lived to 103 and stayed sharp until the very end.

I’ve also lived with disability and health challenges. Until recently, I was highly independent, living in my own home and taking care of myself. A serious illness a couple of months ago changed that: I was hospitalized, then transferred to rehab, and it forced me into a humbling role: receiving help instead of giving it.

I have spent much of my life being the support person, and needing support myself has been an adjustment. However, it has also reminded me of the value of friendship. My loved ones showing up and rallying around me have made me deeply grateful.

Words I’d Leave Behind

If I could leave one message, it would be to remember that how you respond to adversity and treat others is what defines you. Character and integrity matter above all else. The three most important practical values that I have come to believe in, especially as you age or face limits, have been persistence, adaptation, and resilience.

Years ago, I was an avid cyclist and did a “century ride,” which means 100 miles in one day. At mile 88, I wanted to quit. I told myself, “I already rode 88 miles. That’s not failure.” But then I reminded myself that the goal was 100. So, I got back on the bike and finished.

That lesson applies everywhere. Even now, in physical therapy, I push because if I want to regain my baseline, effort has to match intention.

Final Thoughts

I have been fortunate to be a part of meaningful work, have rich experiences, and keep friendships that have lasted 40–50 years. I think it is important to hold people close, maintain relationships, and stay engaged, even when life changes and it takes more effort than it used to. Living by doing the right thing will always be my motto.

With respect and sincerity, Anonymous