Interviewer’s Note:

It’s truly admirable the passion that Janet has for her work. That kind of dedication is hard to find. But that’s really all it takes. Love the problems you solve. Love the people around you. Love life. You can tell from the way she talks, Janet is very intelligent. She knows what she cares about and puts her all into it.

Finding Purpose in Work

I loved everything about the hospital. The people, getting things done, having problems and solving problems, and meeting new people. There wasn’t anything I didn’t like about it.

For 40 years, I worked in social work administration at a local Maryland hospital, and I can truly say that every day I was there was a wonderful day for me. In today’s world, you won’t find many people who stay in one place for 40 years. We’re lucky if someone works five years before switching to their next job. But for me, it wasn’t about loyalty. It was just something that I loved to do and I woke up every morning and just went to do it.

The saddest day, besides losing family members, was when I had to leave work. Retirement felt empty, almost like I didn’t have a purpose. I didn’t get up in the morning to go somewhere because I had nowhere to go.

My advice for people trying to find a career? Find something that you like to do. And it doesn’t matter what it is, you could be taking pictures, but if you like to do it, you’ll be good at it. And that’s the best thing I can say.

Facing Life’s Challenges

The hardest moment was when my first husband died and like here I was, finding myself a single mother with two kids. He was young, just 42. I was 37, my son was 13, and my daughter was 8.

After that, I remember, it was the day after, I sat down with my kids and I said, “You have any questions?” And they both said, “Yeah, could we stay in the same house? And could we go to the same school?” And I said, “Yes, no changes there.”

It wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t the life I thought I was gonna wake up and, you know, be a widow or a single parent. But it worked out and we made the best of it.

Once my husband died, it changed my whole way of looking at problems. I think that things that I might have thought were important earlier in my life had little or no meaning. When you lose someone close to you, the things that might have been important earlier in your life become less significant.

What became more significant was family life. Making the most out of the time we have.

The Gift of People

Some of my happiest years came unexpectedly. When my mother needed to move out of her house, I had a really nice big house and I said, “Come live with me.” She ended up living with us for 17 years, and I can say they were the happiest, really, except for having my kids, the happiest 17 years of my life. I loved every minute of it, and the saddest part of my life was losing her.

As I knew she was getting more sick and needed oxygen, we would sit watching television sometimes after work and I used to say to her, “Ma, you can’t die yet, don’t die and leave me yet.” And she said, “Okay.”

Growing up, I learned from my parents. My father never finished tenth grade, which was amazing because he was one of the smartest people I’ve ever known. My mother was a wonderful wife and mother. She really was. She was smarter than she thought she was.

What have I learned about life? Be nice to everybody, although not everybody is, but everybody’s got a story. Everybody’s worth talking to. People are great. I mean, that’s the best thing I could say. You just either feel it or you don’t.

Wisdom to Share

If there’s one thing that people need to hear, it would be to make the most out of whatever your situation is.

For people struggling after losing a loved one, I think that you have to figure out what’s important in your life and make sure you pursue that, and that could be playing cards, and that could be going to lunch. Doesn’t have to be work like I did, but just do something that you like that makes you happy and then you’ll be happy.

How do you keep going after loss? Well, you don’t have a choice. You have children, you have a job. Life goes on, you can’t. You don’t just stop and give up. You just, you gotta live.

 

With love, Janet