Legacy Letter of Paul Chvala

Interviewer’s Note: 

I’ve gotten to know Paul over the past couple of years, as his daughter and late wife are friends of mine. Most recently, I’ve spent time with him while on our service. He is always kind, soft spoken, and eager to have conversations–something he says he wasn’t always good at. Paul welcomed me into his home and was willing to talk honestly about his shortcomings and regrets, but remained focused on the present and the constant love and care he receives from his family. 

Life in a Nutshell: 

I grew up in Ford City with a very strict father, I was always afraid of him. I went to Catholic school and had a lot of difficulty learning. I really feel that back then, children weren’t tested the way they are today. I think I had things wrong with me that were never diagnosed because they just didn’t do that. I struggled in school and I struggled throughout life. I could never take tests, written tests, even multiple choice. I left home when I was 17 to join the Navy but I never advanced in rank. I had all the officers on the ship trying to help me because they knew I was in for a few years and I should have been moved along more. If I had made the next rank, I would have probably stayed in the Navy, because I did have fun. I spent three and a half years in the military, spent time in the Vietnam War. There were good times, and bad times. The good times were visiting different countries. The bad times- just being that I was on an attack cargo ship. We carried a lot of bombs and ammunition and military vehicles, ambulances, and jeeps. Long Beach, California, was where we were homeported.

 Shortly after the military, I met my wife, Kathy. That’s when I probably felt the most alive. After a year together, we got married and plans don’t always work out the way you think they will. We had started a family sooner than we expected. I wasn’t making much money, so times were tough in the beginning until the children were older and my wife could get a job. But, we would all go to the drive in and amusement parks. We didn’t have the money for vacations, and at the time, we only had one vehicle. We liked shopping and got our first credit card at Kmart. The apartment we lived in was really hot so we used our credit card and bought a fan, which I still have to this day. I mean, it works. It’s 58/59 years old now. Wow! 

 When I was in the Navy, I acquired a taste for alcohol and the first 11 years of marriage were pretty rough because I was a heavy drinker–an alcoholic and that caused a lot of problems. But I did go rehab and alcoholics anonymous. I co-founded a local group of Alcoholics Anonymous and spent about 10 years there, making sure the meetings were taken care of, but then at some point, I felt resentment and quit going to meetings. A big part of AA is the spiritual part of the program, and I didn’t do well there. Even though I wasn’t drinking, the family was pretty much miserable with me. I did get a job shortly after we got married. It was a good job, but it just wasn’t high paying at the time. It wasn’t until Kathy got a job that things worked out better as far as being able to go on vacations and buy vehicles. We bought an old house after about 10-11 years of marriage. In 1996, I retired from my main job, my wife was still working, the children were gone by this time, and I was sitting here at home, trying to figure out what I was gonna do with my life, because I was only 51 years old at the time. So nearby where we live, I got a job driving school bus. I did that for the next 28 years. After 28 years of that, I’ve now been retired for three years. But during those three years, Kathy passed away unexpectedly from cancer and I now have cancer and a heart problem. So, as of today, April 16, 2026, I’m in home hospice and it’s scary, but I have a team of people that are great. I love them all. 

 I believe because of my upbringing when I was a child, love was not expressed. We did not hug. We just weren’t brought up that way. And later after the children came along, they didn’t get to experience that kind of upbringing either. We tried counseling, tried different programs to work it out, but it never really did. Today, I’m the closest with my son and daughter but it was hard when they were little because I loved them but didn’t know how to show it. We started out going to counseling for marriage, but during the counseling, we recognized a problem because of my drinking. So, we switched from counseling to rehabilitation. Up until I joined the military, I didn’t like the taste of beer. Some high school friends you know, they’d get some beer, but when I was in the military, that’s when I started slowly with mixed drinks, and got sick from them so then I started drinking beer. It was when I was in the Philippines or Japan or China, I did my share of drinking. Fortunately, I didn’t get in much trouble because there were times when you didn’t want to go back to the ship, but you had a curfew. That’s where I got it started and thank God I didn’t get in much trouble. No auto accidents. When you get to the meetings and listen to speakers talk about their experiences–It was pretty bad. I tried so hard to quit, but I was a daily drinker. I tried to sober up to take the wife out on Saturdays, but it overtook my life. It was consuming me even when I didn’t go to the bars. I would break open or shake the kids’ piggy banks to get some change out and walk to a local pub to buy a pint of beer. Some cheap stuff, just to keep going. There were times when my wife left me and took my gun out of the house. I was married to an angel, a saint, for sticking with me all the years. She was a good woman.

For two years after I realized I had a problem, I didn’t follow instructions. I wanted to prove to myself that I could go into bars, hang out with old friends, and not drink. Well, that doesn’t work out very well. After two years, I went back to Alcoholics Anonymous where my friends were, in the basements of churches. It’s a different feeling, you know, the spiritual aspect of it and the camaraderie, we went to a lot of meetings during the week. I was 32 and a half years old when I had my last drink and I’m 80 years old now. And as far as being around drinking goes, I have no desire whatsoever.

When I think of what makes me proud, I think of who I am today. The fact that I realized I had a problem with alcohol, and I sought help, and I had a good life since I quit drinking and life is so much better. 

I am most proud of my son and daughter. They’ve both done well. They’re both smart. I’ve been rewarded at this time with each of them taking care of me. They are constantly checking on me. They take care of me very well and we do things together–going out to dinner and shopping.  I’m also proud of my three grandchildren. I know they’ll succeed in life with their college educations. They will all do well in the future.

Final Thoughts: 

Communicate, that’s the big thing. Don’t hold things in. 

You’ve got to stay positive. 

Know your limits. 

Be happy. I was most happy with my wife on the beach at the Jersey Shore. That was our happy place—something we looked forward to every summer. A tradition that has been passed down to my children and grandchildren. 

I really feel that people need to respect each other’s opinions. It’s a cruel world out there, and everybody sees things differently. You can talk about politics or whatever, but respect the other person’s opinion. 

Pray.

Recently I spoke with Chaplain R. regarding faith. He expressed to have faith in a higher power. I’ve learned this throughout my life, from the time I was in first grade in Catholic school, but it had to be brought to my attention again at 80 years old.

Final Wish: 

My family, you all think differently and act differently.  I just want you to stay close. To my son and daughter, you’re doing okay now, but my fear is that’s not going to last after I’m gone. I’m asking that you keep a good relationship, and I pray that goes on when I’m gone. 

Love, Dad